The messaging hack you've been missing 👩💻
It was for me... until it wasn't.
Whether you’ve been to business school or built your business from scratch like I have, you already know how important it is to define your target audience.
Let me share a story about this.
✨ Reimagining My 2025
Lately, Instagram has been feeling exhausting. I know I’m not alone in this, right? But writing to you here on Substack? That lights me up.
So, I’ve been reflecting on how I want to show up in 2025. How can I pour more energy into this space, create more value for you, and spend less time on socials?
Last week, while waiting in line for our weekly Vietnamese takeout, these thoughts were swirling. I realized I have a lot to learn about Substack—it’s different from traditional email marketing. There’s social-style engagement, paywalls, connecting with other writers... It’s a world of its own.
Feeling curious, I opened my podcast app and started searching: Substack growth. Substack strategies. That’s when I found a podcast all about marketing your business without social media.
🚫 From ‘Yay’ to ‘Nope’ in a Split Second
Bingo. I popped in my AirPods, ready to soak it all in.
Then, I glanced at the episode show notes and saw the hosts were launching a course in early 2025 focusing on Substack growth strategies for creative entrepreneurs. Double bingo—this sounded perfect.
But as the podcast intro started playing, my excitement came to a halt.
One simple word made it clear that this wasn’t going to be for me:
Christian entrepreneurs.
The podcast and course are specifically for people building faith-based businesses.
Now, let me be so clear: I have no issue with Christianity. I’m just not religious myself, so I wouldn’t feel at home in a coaching program that’s grounded in faith-based teachings.
In that instant, I went from intrigued about the course to “nope.” It wasn’t for me. I’m not the ideal client. And that’s okay.
🤔 Who Is It For? Who Isn’t It For?
We’ve all done some version of the “ideal client avatar” exercise, right? You know the drill:
“Who is your ideal client?”
“What keeps them up at night?”
“What’s important to them?”
But here’s the thing: most people find these exercises hard. They breeze through the basics:
“Women in their late 20s or early 30s.”
“Struggling to reach the right clients.”
“Time and financial freedom.”
But they stop short of real specificity. And here’s the truth: specificity sells.
💭 Negativity Bias: The Shortcut to Kindred Clients
Here’s a little twist I’ve learned over my years of coaching my clients with their marketing: instead of starting with “Who is this for?” ask:
Who isn’t this for?
Yes, it’s a bit of a negative approach—but hear me out. Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones The psychological phenomenon is called negativity bias.
Feel familiar?👇
You get 30 glowing testimonials from clients who adored working with you, but one client gives sliiiiiightly negative feedback, so you obsess over the small criticism.
An Instagram post gets fewer likes than normal. Even though your engagement and metrics are generally good, you stress about whether or not your audience has enough leads.
You send out four proposals for your high-ticket package. Three of them sign on to work with you right away, but one says ‘no.’ Instead of celebrating, you feel disappointed about the single rejection.
Negative experiences are stickier. We can more easily recall the emotions we felt and the exact scenarios that played out with specificity.
✏️ Do this exercise for stickier messaging:
By reflecting on who isn’t a good fit, you can uncover the kind of clarity that makes your messaging magnetic to the right people. 🧲
Grab your journal or open a fresh doc.
Think about a specific service or offer.
Brainstorm: Who isn’t this for?
For each answer, ask: Why isn’t this for them?
The “why” is where the gold is—it uncovers your unique POV and brand beliefs.
Here are a few examples from my messaging brainstorming for private mentorship:
Not for: Someone looking for quick-fix solutions.
Why? Because real, effective mentorship takes time to build rapport and create personalized strategies.
Not for: Someone only interested in strategy, without exploring mindset or energetics.
Why? At a certain level, mindset becomes the key to long-term success.
Not for: Someone thriving on hustle culture.
Why? My approach is all about ease and sustainability—I don’t do hustle, and I don’t expect my clients to either.
📱How to Use This in Your Marketing
Once you know *exactly* who your offers aren’t for, you can use that insight to speak directly to them on your website and in your content.
Ideas for how to do this:
Create an explicit qualifying section on your website.
You’ll often see this on Sales Pages, but it can go on any Services page or even your About page.
In this fun click-through section on my website, clients can self-identify if they’re the right fit for my private mentorship containers by reading my answers to the question ‘Are we a good fit? Yes if you want/ love / value / are ready for’ and ‘no we’re not a fit if…’
Create content that highlights your core brand beliefs.
Posts that speak to the values that you share with your target audience naturally attracts and resonates with kindred clients.
Here’s an example of a carousel post pinned to the top of my grid. It speaks specifically to my belief that business gets to feel good.
Based on the ‘who isn’t it for’ exercise, we also know that my offers ARE NOT a good fit for someone who wants to hustle; they’re perfect for people committed to a softer, spacious, ease-filled, feel-good approach to business. This post shows *how* I’ve done this.
🫶 Why Repelling the Wrong People Is a Good Thing
Here’s your reminder: by speaking more clearly to your kindred clients, you’ll naturally repel those who aren’t a match—and that’s exactly what you want.
I get it, though. When someone unsubscribes or unfollows, it’s easy to feel a little pang of “what did I do wrong?” (Hi, negativity bias.)
But here’s the truth: when you let go of misaligned people, you make room for the ones who are ready to work with you.
💬 Try It Out and Let Me Know
Give the “Who Isn’t This For?” exercise a try. I’d love to hear what you discover—drop your thoughts in the comments below.
Cheers ‘til next week,
Samara
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